


Better To Die

by quima



Category: Call Me By Your Name (2017) RPF
Genre: Angst, Dark, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2018-05-08
Packaged: 2019-05-03 18:51:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 256
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14575380
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/quima/pseuds/quima
Summary: Ok. So, I’m late, it took me a little bit over 10 minutes, it’s my first fic ever and english is not my first language.  I’m sorry for everything. Please, be gentle.





	Better To Die

**Author's Note:**

> Ok. So, I’m late, it took me a little bit over 10 minutes, it’s my first fic ever and english is not my first language. I’m sorry for everything. Please, be gentle.

She knows. She knows and she’ll use everything in her power to kill it. And she’s powerful. She’s two children powerful, intimate secrets powerful, family and friends powerful.

I’m not scared. I’m petrified. I’m so petrified I can’t move. I’m almost catatonic. I don’t even know who I am anymore. Who’s that guy staring me at the mirror? I will never be who I was before. Can’t be who I want to be from now. I’m stuck in between two wrongs and in excruciating pain. 

His understanding, but despairing eyes burn and thrust my soul like two daggers.

There’s only hurt, everywhere I turn, every path I choose. Even if I gadder the courage to do the right thing and be with him, against all odds, I know he’ll always blame himself for the mess that’ll arise. I can’t stand the guilt in his eyes. I can’t stand any kind of trouble and pain that may come his way.

It’s better this way. The feeling of the pills in my hand gives me a small confort. It will be better for everyone. Painful, but definite. Without long lasting hard feelings and regrets. The dead are always forgiven. I’ll just sleep. And never wake up. Or wake up somewhere else, without this weight and agony.

I take a last long look at the stranger in the reflexion. If only I would’ve met him sooner and really worked on knowing him… Too late for that. I raise my hand and take the pills in my mouth. Good riddance.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks so much for taking the time.


End file.
